Just browsing through old pictures when I came across this one, and it literally made me laugh out loud. You see, a few years ago I had “the life”. I had the nice cars, the boat, the big diamonds, the giant house AND someone hired to wash my dishes. I once had a store shut down so that I could have the sales ladies dress me head to toe while I sipped on champagne. I had the luxury of not caring when pay day was because as far as I was concerned, it didn’t matter.
Man- I really had it all, didn’t I?
In all reality, I had nothing. I had empty arms at night. I had ALL of the things I couldn’t take to the grave.
Now I have a small, old rental house with dead plants on the porch because I sometimes (okay, always) forget to water them. I also tend to forget that I don’t have a billion sprinklers and landscapers. I have a living room filled with toys that I have to step around to get to my sink (chalked full) of dirty dishes. I have no house keeper, heck I don’t even have a dish washing machine. I have a mountains of laundry, and I have a baby who is currently screaming because I got onto him for pouring his juice on the carpet that I’ve detailed 3 times with a borrowed carpet cleaner.I have BOXES that I’ve yet to unpack from when we moved in 8 months ago because between my career and being mama, I don’t have the energy to organize. (Where’s my personal decorator when I need her?) I don’t have a kitchen table, because ours didn’t fit correctly in the dining room, and we can’t buy another one at the moment. I went from the nicest house on the block to a pigsty on the questionable side of town. Today is payday, I wouldn’t have known that 5 years ago, but I know now because payday will be over in the morning when our bills hit the bank.
I have a point, and I’m getting to it now. You see, when I left this home, and this car, and those 5 karat diamonds, I left behind a world full of empty promises. I traded all of these things for my freedom to find where my soul belongs.
My soul belongs wherever my husbands does. Whatever his and mine are made of is the same. My body belongs in the mess that surrounds me. My son literally owns my heart, and I wouldn’t have him now if I were still holding the keys to that silly Mercedes. I also wouldn’t have God, because the man who provided this lifestyle for me could not provide Faith. I left him ultimately, due to that one simple fact, and look at all of the unconditional love the Lord has rewarded me with for taking that leap.
I may not have everyone’s fairytale ending anymore, but I have MY fairytale ending. If I never wear another real diamond again I’ll die the happiest woman on earth. If the landlord accepts rent a week late, if my car doesn’t get towed, if I can keep food in Hayden’s belly, and even if I work every day for the next 50 years to keep my family afloat, well? I will die more blessed than I ever could have imagined in my wildest dreams.